Added: Taniya Kulp - Date: 07.01.2022 12:58 - Views: 46631 - Clicks: 5627
Honoring a bi partner in a straight relationship? I love this person very dearly and my aim is to be respectful and her feel lifted up. You sound like you just like your partner a lot. If it were me, I'd just want the person to omit the and ask questions if they felt needed. If it's something she actually struggles with socially, it's a different situation.
Perhaps be very clear with any arrangements or limitations and just let her do as she pleases, so as long as it brings you no harm or doesn't compromise your own definitions of what a connection or relationship is. From the perspective of someone bi, married to a dude I met when I was a teenager, came out as queer in my 30s: at this point I figure I'm somewhere on the genderqueer spectrum but don't really fuss too much about labels.
So maybe try to be aware of that? That said, this may not be applicable to your partner if she's not also struggling with gender presentation stuff. I'd feel not seen if my partner called our relationship straight because that's putting me into a box that prioritizes him and being 'normal'. You can pick the label that works for your relationship, and maybe it doesn't matter to her, but it might help not think of it as 'straight'.
Best answer: A bisexual person in a opposite-gender relationship is in a bisexual relationship. Reframing this in your thought process will help. I understand why you think this, but the framing you are using is one reason why heteronormativity is pervasive in our world. You sound like a sensitive caring partner so maybe none of this will apply to you, but I'll just throw my thoughts out there and maybe something will be helpful.
Don't assume your partner does not want to be monogamous, or is incapable of being monogamous. Just because a person is bisexual or pansexual does not mean they necessarily need to have a partner of every gender they happen to be attracted to. Just like a straight person, if I find myself attracted to someone outside of my monogamous relationship, I can control myself. If there is a possibility that both of you are open to being polyamorous, be sure that you both clearly understand what that means for each of you.
Currently, I have been perfectly happy being monogamous for many years. There was a time, however, when I would not have minded having permission for a girlfriend on the side, but I was not willing to reciprocate with permission for him to do the same. If you are thinking about some form of polyamory, make sure that you are both on the same regarding what that entails. Unfortunately for them, I had absolutely no interest in exploring that side of my sexuality with a guy along for the ride. Unfortunately for me, some guys can be pretty obnoxious about pushing for it.
Follow her lead and be supportive regarding how visible she herself wants to be.
So I guess I would say be supportive of however she chooses to be visible, or not, but definitely let her take the lead; and understand that her desire to be visible might vary depending on the situation, and the people involved, and how tired she might be of bringing it up. I am a cis bi woman married to a cis straight man. From the outside, our relationship looks like the gold standard of heteronormativity.
So many disparaging comments from quote-unquote-real gay people mostly gay men for some inexplicable reason. So little personal benefit to being visible . So yeah. Taking her lead and not making any assumptions is very, very good advice. Otherwise it brings me nothing but inconvenience. Best answer: As a bi well, pan, but whatever woman in a relationship with a bi man, our relationship is straight. We aren't, we're both queer as fuck, but our relationship is straight. Don't assume any 'rules' about what you should or should not call your relationship are universal, despite what some here seem to be claiming.
Doesn't rule it out either, of course, but if you wouldn't bring it up with another partner, probably don't here either? Something to follow her lead on is how out she is in different situations, and how she feels about having it come up in different situations. There are bi women who would think it was awesome for their partner to be like "OMG, yeah, [girlfriend's name] and I both have the biggest crush on that actress. There are people who wouldn't be into having it come up so light-heartedly, but would be fine with you bringing it up in a more serious situation — maybe if a close friend's kid just came out as Bisexual in need of ltr and they're looking for someone to talk to about it, your girlfriend would be fine with you making that introduction.
And, I dunno, that's all stuff you'll figure out. I think a good baseline is "don't out someone unless you know it's ok. Let her figure things out and take her lead. Basically try to understand what being bi means to her, and how she wants to express that. DON'T ask this right out, like "honey, so what does being bi mean to you, and how do you want to express your bi-ness? However, if you are genuinely curious about something, you can initiate the conversation.
Try "I read this, and I'm wondering if that's something you experience too? You said you don't want her to feel erased, so make sure that she feels heard with you. You would not want to make her feel erased in your relationship because you weren't listening properly.
In the meantime, do some research and reading on your own. There's lots of stuff out there to get you started. Best answer: My feelings differ somewhat from some of the posts above so I'll just chuck in my two pennorth in case it's useful. I love being visible! I love having my queerness celebrated!
For reference, I am a bi, more or less cis lady married to a cis straight man. I've known I was bi my whole adult life but internalised biphobia meant that I didn't inhabit the full space of that identity like I do now, so I probably have some similar feelings to your partner on this. Things I love that he's done for me: - Showed up to cheer me on when I walked in our city's Pride parade - Is co-parenting our daughter in such a way as to vocally and consistently promote the idea of all identities being visible and good.
Some people might laugh, but even as a 2. These are small things that feel big to me. He doesn't ask, he just listens, and shows up. I guess that's it really. Best answer: echoing greenish from a different perspective. That's probably the best four word advice for any relationship, really.
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